I cannot believe that 2008 is almost here! 2007 went by so very fast and was filled with so many changes. So with 2008 right around the corner I think it is imperative that we all assess our lives and closets and figure out what we should be taking into 2008 and what we should be leaving behind. As I am not a counselor, nor do I profess to be a person who is remotely equipped with dealing with my own issues much less anyone else’s, I will just leave this discussion to clothes.

For 2008, we need to leave behind anything that resembles or favors in any shape or form the Bohemian look. I know this is hard for many of us, as those damn peasant skirts are just so comfortable and easy to maintain, but it is time to donate them to Goodwill or pack them away until the fashion cycle brings them back in style in another 10 or so years. 2007 can also retain anything that has the Military inspired look. However, unlike Bohemian inspired pieces, I would just pack away and store my Military inspired pieces, as this is one trend that although may be out for now, is likely to be back later in 2008 or 2009.

As for 2008 there are certain key trends that every woman must begin acquiring. First and foremost…the statement accessory. This can be anything from a necklace, a hat, a watch or a funky bangle or purse. However, whatever the accessory, it should be able to stand-alone and funk up any outfit you decide to put together. It is also essential that 2008 is marked by the acquisition of at least a couple sexy formfitting pieces that although shouldn’t be skintight and sleazy, hug the right areas.

I personally, am looking forward to 2008. I had a great time in 2007. I learned a lot about myself and the people around me, and can’t wait to start off the New Year on a great note. And hey, it can’t hurt to look good while doing it. Talk to you Next Year!

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On behalf of everyone at The Big Girl’s Guide To Life…
We’d like to wish you all Happy Holidays and a Wonderful and Blessed New Year!!

SueZette

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Family.  Never has a word sparked so many different emotions across the spectrum. Family is often times the origin of emotional stability, warmth, caring faces, good memories and security.  On the other side, it may be the bane of one’s very existence. No one has the ability to hurt you like those who are close. Family can be the cause of deep seeded hang-ups, insecurities and warped ideals about life. And like most families, you may have a healthy mix of all these things.

I’m writing about family because especially during this holiday season, we are forced to face our families and those emotions that seeing our family evokes. Even those of us who aren’t able to visit, don’t have families, or don’t want to see them are especially susceptible too “family” during this season. We are bombarded with images of holiday get-togethers, dinners and festivities on television, while shopping, and hear about it while discussing holiday plans with friends. 

If those emotions are negative, put them aside and look at how you can create a more pleasant holiday. If they are good, make them better. Life is short and love is glue that makes life worth living. Forgiveness is the burden no one should bare; so let it go (I feel like Dr. Phil, but a little less annoying…I digress). I know you didn’t choose that family, but you’re stuck now.

Regardless of what emotions the word family brings to mind, we have the power to try to perpetuate the good, and alleviate the bad. Whatever problems you may have with you family during this holiday season, put them aside and realize the true blessing that family can be. And for those without the traditional “family,” blood doesn’t make a strong family, the willingness to love unconditionally is.

I pray everyone has a blessed, safe, and happy holiday season. Eat a ton of food, kiss someone under the mistletoe (even if its your momma on the cheek), tell someone you love them, eat some more, give even if you don’t think you’ll receive, eat a tab bit more, and be merry. Love and Blessings.

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Men…don’t think I have forgotten about you. This past week I’ve been reading about men’s fashion to get ideas as to what trends or styles I should blog about this week. With so much out there I just truly could not decide. So instead, I have decided to throw that idea out and present my fellas with my Men’s Fashion Do’s and Don’ts:

DO’S:

1. Own a black suit – with 2 buttons, NOT 3
2. Own a French cuff white shirt
3. Own a gray V-neck sweater
4. Wear dress socks when appropriate – in navy, black and brown
5. Invest in nice cuff links and watches
6. Keep your brown and black shoes clean and polished
7. Have a relationship with a tailor
8. Take your dress shirts to the dry cleaner
9. IRON
10. Experiment with color

DON’TS

1. Wear brown and black - They RARELY match, if you are not very fashion forward DO NOT attempt to mix the two!!!!
2. Mix Patterns
3. Wear too many colors at once
4. Wear sunglasses at night – it looks ridiculous!
5. Wear belts and shoes that don’t match
6. Wear denim shirts or denim with denim
7. Wear full linen suits – and DEFINITELY NOT with “mandals” – YUK!!!
8. As a matter of fact DON’T wear “mandals” ever under any circumstances!!!
9. Wear white socks with loafers
10. Leave your house in a white shirt with yellow stains under the armpit – even if it’s under the shirt – THROW it OUT!!!

My lists above are obviously not exhaustive, but it is just what has crossed my mind recently. Please add additions to each list in your comments. I would love to know what ya’ll think…especially my fellas.

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A lot of times when people discuss the issues in their relationships, they paint themselves as the victim. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that, but perception is subjective. Wouldn’t it be great if we could step outside of ourselves and say hey, I do carry a little bit of blame in this situation? At what point do you stop playing the victim and take some accountability?

I’ve been conducting an unofficial poll of my peeps…the question is simple, what bad habits do you have that your mate has to put up with? It’s actually ironic that we can run a list, verbatim of our partner’s faults…no second thought… but we have to really sit and concentrate to come up with a list of our own imperfections.

I know anybody I’m with is gonna have to deal with the following bad habits:
-I’m moody as hell.
-I don’t like confrontation
-Housekeeping is not my forte
-I tune people out.
-I can be stubborn
-I operate on Jamaican CPT (more severe than any other CPT on Earth)
-I have an innate need for space
-I have a sharp tongue
-I curse a lil too much
-I can be selfish….especially about my time
-I may spend a lil too freely
-I may be a lil too social
-When I’m done…I’m done…and I don’t want to discuss it…period.
-I’m the Queen of Procrastination
-I mix & match the “shit face” with the “da hell” face frequently

Wait this list is getting long, but the point is I recognize these things about myself and I can either change or be real and upfront…and say…yo….dude…I’m ordinary and my imperfections are a part of who I am. What did Mary say…take me as I am…just like I’ll take you as you are.

I can’t be in the business of changing grown folks…

Just some food for thought…

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Chocolate

dipped in

PiNk

 Red!! Hot pink!! Magenta!!  All shades for the fair-skinned, right? 

 WRONG!!!   

We CGW (Chocolate Girl Wonders) can wear these shades too!  

We tend to stray away from the reds and pinks, for fear that our finished look may resemble that of Bozo the clown. Have no fear! If worn properly, red lipstick can turn a simple mouth into a sultry pout.  

With so many shades in the red family, your first question is probably going to be:   

Where do I start!?!? 

First, realize that red comes in many shades and with many different undertones. The bright orangey - reds, and cherry reds look best on the fair skinned (not to say they wont work on us) and the darker reds with the purple undertones suit us better. Bright pinks work well with most complexions but should always be tried on first.

 Gone are the days of MAC’s oh so famous, Oh Baby lipglass, WITH the chestnut lip liner (can’t forget that!). Put away the golds, bronzes and mute shades and experiment with some color!  

Here are my top  4 red/pink shades for brown skin: 

DIOR – Red Premiere 752 Liptsick – hydrating lipstick with a berry kick$26.00 www.sephora.com  

MAC - Plush Luxe Plushglass – a flouresant pink with a pink pearl shimmer $17.50 www.maccosmetics.com 

MAC – Girl about Town lipstick – a BRIGHT fushcia crème lipstick (one of my favorite)$14.00 www.maccosmetics.com 

Loreal- Cherry Freeze 415 Color Juice Stick  - red with a purple undertone$8.99 www.cvs.com All drugstores near you   

Tips for wearing red/ pink lip color:

• Wear lip liner to avoid sloppy application. Liners should always be a shade lighter then your lipstick.  Remember when you first learned how to color? Stay within the lines!
• Try a lipstick and lip gloss combo. Add gloss to your favorite shade of lipstick for that ultra shine finish.

   Lastly, if you aren’t ready for the DITA VON TEASE look, try a lip gloss! They are a tad bit on the safe side (for the more reserved) as they are sheer with just the right amount of tint! But if you are ready for those red lips or pink pucker, visit the counter of your favorite makeup brand, sit with an artist and have them find the best shade for you!   

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You want to know about it, I’m here to give it to you!

CELEB-ISH! 

* IKE TURNER DEAD

If you haven’t heard by now, I would suggest you come out from under that rock and pay attention! Mr. Tina Turner has passed. TMZ reports that Turner died in his sleep and may have been the result of a drug overdose…

Wow…

* Janet Jackson is back!

Janet, Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty is back with a new album scheduled for a Feb 20^th release! Her new single “feedback” is making noise on airwaves!

* And America’s NEXT TOP MODEL IS:

Saleisha! I was glued to the TV this season, like every other season. Even though I feel like the quality of the contestants goes down every year, I am excited that Saleisha won! CONGRATS!

* Queen Latifah IS NOT getting married! Rumors ran amuck last week as reports circulated that Rapper/ Actress/ Model Queen Latifah was set to marry her female personal trainer.

FALSE!

I love the Queen! She has set the path for women of color in the entertainment industry! Love her!!

* Move over Beyonce its Solange’s turn! The younger Knowles is set to release her sophomore (yes her 2^nd) album in mid 2008! Check out www.mtv.com for more info!  

JZ hotel?

The man, the myth, the mogul is at it again. JZ and partners have just purchased real estate in Chelsea NY,that they are planning to turn into a high end hotel. This man has his hands everywhere!

Stay tuned next week for more CELEB-ISH!

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Needing love, and desiring love and not having the ability to accept that love because you don’t feel you are worth it is a tragedy. I wrote this about a woman who seeks the affection she didn’t receive from a father figure, and how it ultimately effects how you perceive love and relationships. The discussion continues…

Daddy

She came into her own

Absence of her daddy left her grown

Too early

Into the dawn she’d walk

Into the arms of another she’d stalk the good life

Or what she thought of it

Strong arms, false sense of shelter

Pretty face, so this is what the cards dealt her

Fully harnessing the power she was given

Not knowing it would fade

She glitter like a gem

I called her Jade

Faded pictures of a jaded woman

With stories of the empty days

Full of empty cheers

Warm bodies, but lonely nights

Faded into lonely days

She’d fill her cup

For her intuition begged for attention

But left her wanting and wishing

For real love

In a world full of deception

She’d need to seek the One

Not found in any man

But the Savior, of all who’s lost

Man only brings empty promises

Hidden motives

And potent pheromones

Lust and disaster

But when you trust in the Master

He’ll lead you.

Because you’re the one who’ll put you first on this earth.

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Staying fashionable can be so costly. How can any lady resist walking by a pair of shoes she just knows will scream “FIERCE” and will have her posture right by providing her just enough lift to her ass and chest? How can any lady ignore the perfect pair of jeans that hugs all the right areas while hiding the wrong ones? The answer…she can’t! So the solution…befriending the Sample Sale.

Sample Sale shopping is an art! And if you are in major metropolitan area, it is one creative outlet you must avail yourself of. The idea behind the sample sale is to find great designer pieces for great prices, and a good Sample Sale can provide you with at least a 40-50% discount off the retail price. I mean really, where else can you find a pair of Chloe slacks for $80?

Now some sample sales are better than others, and only time and practice will allow you to be able to decipher which ones suit you the best. People may shy away from the idea of sample sale shopping because they are under the misguided impression that all that is available are “sample” sizes (i.e., size 0 & 2). Although, that may sometimes be the case, the Sample Sales that I am referring to are either overstock or an earlier season’s styles that a designer is trying to get rid of.

So here are some websites to help you get started on keeping up to date on sample sales in your area:

1. Billion Dollar Babes 2. Splendora 3. Top Button 4. Lucky Mag 5. Daily Candy

With the various sites, make sure to choose your location.

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Hmmm…

I’m trying to think of way to write this in an androgonous context….because I really do believe the “good catch” misnomer applies to both genders. However, I’mma write…and you have permission to perceive it from any angle that you wish.

What is a good catch?

While the definition of a good catch is very much subjective…we’re gonna roll with a general framework that I ‘ve come up with….
Educated, gainfully employed/exhibiting great EP (earning potential), intellectual attractive, nice personality, loves his mama, God-fearing, ambitious, sees the beauty in ownership, and just an all around good person.

Sounds muy perfecto right?

Wrong…because at the end of the day…you still don’t know what lies deep down in the navel of that mofo. However, on the flip side…just because someone appears to be a good catch…does not mean that they’re seeking to be caught, and more specifically does not mean that they’re seeking to be caught by you.

Such thinking is clearly a glitch in the matrix and has led to the demise of many a relationship.

See if any of these sound familiar,
“Giiirrlll…he really has his ish together…his life is in order….mmmhmmm….I think he’s the one…”

Question: But does he think that you’re the one. Also having his life in order…may be your idea of order and not his. Shoudn’t you validate your claim before proclaiming him..husband?

“He’s perfect. Good credit, good job, nice car, a house…” I mean what more could I ask for.

Question: But aren’t these all superficial descriptions of a person’s worth. What the hell do you really know about him?

Another question…yeah he’s a good catch, but are you? Shouldn’t you and your partner be equally yoked? Can you set mandates on your partner that you have yet to achieve?

I’m really working on not generalizing the XY chromosome…mainly because I mean…I try not to do that, but lets be real,even “good catches” be on some bullish.Hmmm…didn’t I find out that even squares and/ lames come packaged with some fuckery…even if its a minute tiny little bit…but then again so do we.

Hmmm…

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