“But if we label this…just picture what we might lose…that unexpected kiss, the whole feelin that brought me to you…”- Bilal, from “Love Poems”
I’m not big on titles. It has nothing to do with being non-conformist either…
I just think there’s pressure and obligation that comes along with titles. Extra responsibilities for peoples’ feelings and what not. For the most part I don’t mind ambiguity as long as everyone involved is clear on what the fuzzy boundaries might be…thats so oymoronic, but ah well…
It’s funny then that for a very long time…I had a label taped to my forehead that I didn’t even know was there…emotional girlfriend..
In July of 2007 after some bull went down a male friend of mine introduced me to the concept of being an emotional girlfriend. An emotional girlfriend is defined as, “…a chick you’re not in a relationship with (and may never be)…but you share a deep and emotional connection with. She completes you in a way no other woman can, BUT you’re just not with her.”
Ring a bell for anyone else?
I have no problem being a dude’s “down ass homegirl.” I do that rather well. Platonic is cool with me because it assumes nothing.
Emotional girlfriend…I’m not feeling so much. It seems so have your cake and eat it too.
Its actually an unfair situation to be in, especially if the emotional girlfriend has feelings for her “friend” that transcends friendship.
Problems arise when said “friend” knows his homegirl has feelings for him and instead of being clear that the yellow brick road is not actually yellow, but in fact a murky white…he allows her to believe whatever.
Selfish..yes..
Callous…clearly.
Maybe this post isn’t about emotional girlfriendom, maybe it’s about honesty….
Go figure.
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2 Responses to “Emotional Girlfriendom”
I hate that murky brick road…and then you end up somewhere lost like why is he treating me like this when in actuality we’re allowing them to by being their emotional girlfriend. I was so there so many times…just an emotional connection that was hard to watch them argue with their women and know that we would work if he just wanted it as much as I did!!! it just sucks
OMG! I was wondering what this phenomenon was called…. You hit the nail right on the head when you said men with emotional girlfriends get to have their cake and eat it, too. Boyfriend privileges, but no boyfriend responsibilities.
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