Have you ever done something and knew you would regret it? Like
absolutely in the moment, mind racing telling you, "Dang, are you
kidding right now? I'm shocked at you…I mean I'm shocked at myself,
heck I'm shocked at you, because I don't know you anymore." When I
look back over my life, I have made some major changes in my life
based on a lesson I learned from a situation I regretted (I'll revisit
this later). I might regret this, but here we go.
Alright, you're fresh out of a bad situation. You have a moment of
clarity that only comes when you've completely messed up. Depending
on who you are this comes at different times. You could be in the
mix, out the mix, mixed in, out-mixed, heck it could be years later,
but there is something about regret that sticks with you. Pondering
shoulda, coulda, woulda's, replaying other scenarios in your head, and
hitting yourself in the forehead.
Let's go to the play-by-play. When the next couple of days or weeks
go by (depending on the severity of the lapse in good reason), you
think about it and shake your head, or an audible "WOW" comes out and
people ask you what you're WOWing about. You usually say nothing, or
just say I'm thinking about something from earlier, lie and say you
forgot to do something and you were WOWing at your forgetfulness.
Laying in your bed thinking, or throughout the day you talk to
yourself saying things like:
"I can't believe I said that."
"Wow, I'm embarrassed."
"Stupid, stupid, stupid."
"I don't know what came over me."
"[Explicative]!"
"What's wrong with you [Your name here], Momma didn't raise you like that."
"I know better then that, what was I thinking."
"Man…I'm never drinking again."
It's usually followed up by a sorry, but more likely a realization
that you might need to make some changes in your decisions making
skills. It might lead to you avoiding some place or someone because
you are reminded by that regret every time you see him/her. Or like
most of my regrets, a contemplation on what needs to change in my life
to get back on track. Maybe that jacked up situation is just a segue
to a new and better you.
I'm always leery of the truthfulness of people who say they don't have
any regrets. I definitely can understand not wanting to live with
regrets and living life to the fullest, I get that. And I'm not
saying that I don't believe people who say that they don't regret
anything, because if it wasn't for that "situation" they wouldn't have
"learned" what they did, or the "experience" was worth it. I get that
too, but as imperfect as we all are, regret is inevitably a part of
life, and I hope I see less and less of them as I grow older.
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